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Finish creating a self improvement plan with the last of the 13 Steps
This is the second half of the 13 Steps to Self Improvement. You can find the first half of the steps to self-improvement here.
You can also get your free 13 Steps to Self Improvement Guide and Worksheet here.
Do you want to be better? Of course you do. You are reading this blog.
This blog is all about making you better, so you can make the people around you better, so they can make the people around them better, and we can make the world a better place. It’s a slowly but surely plan and I’m working it.
Are you with me? At least in the part of making yourself better? Make yourself better, and the rest will follow.
These 13 Steps to Self Improvement came from Jack Spirko at The Survival Podcast. This is step 7-13. Do the first six and finish up with these and you will make your life better.
Step 7:
What concerns you? What can you influence? and What do you control?
This is from the book 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey. With everything wrong in the world you need to know what things you can control, what you can influence, and what just concerns you.
You have a giant circle of concern. Most everything on the news tonight concerns you. Riots everywhere, Russian collusion, the Rona is going to kill everyone, and voter fraud, are all examples of what is on the news right now that may or may not concern you. These things concern me, but I have no way to influence any of them. I can’t fix voter fraud, make Russia help or not help during the election or talk or not talk to President Trump, I can’t stop the spread of the Rona, and the riots are something I actively avoid. It all bothers me. But what can I do to really fix any of it?
I know you have a list that is thousands of things that concern you. And that’s okay. But don’t waste the majority of your energy on anything that you can’t actively influence or control.
The things you influence are probably your family, the business you work for, your friends, and the people you interact with daily. I can ask my wife to do something but I can’t make her. I can give my friends information about things going on in the world but I can’t make them do anything. Because we have a good friendship they might listen to me and act on my advice… or they might not.
The things you directly control are what you do. If you are a content creator like me, create content. I have some influence over whether people like it or not (if it’s any good, or my best work) but I am only concerned that you will like this post and act on it.
Take 15 to 30 minutes and make a list of everything that bothers you and you would like to change or make better.
Now put a number 1, 2, or 3 next to each thing. 1’s are the things that you control and you can change. These should be your number one priority of things you spend energy and time working on.
Put a number 2 next to the things you influence, and a number 3 next to the things that only concern you.
If you have time and energy left over after you work on all the ones, then work some on the twos. The threes you need to just let go. The riots really bother me. I love a good protest, but draw the line at people, any people, getting hurt and other people’s things getting destroyed. It breaks my heart that there are people out there getting hurt and killed in all the mess. And the reason it started this round is that someone got killed. But I really can’t change it. I have to let it go and work on the things that I can change, like helping you be better.
Make a list of the things that concern you, you influence, and you control. Make sure you mark them accordingly.
Step 8
Turn off the news for a week… just a week.
I alluded to this problem in Step 7… but it’s a problem. When was the last time you saw something positive on the news?
The news on TV and internet videos are toxic and will make you angry, upset, and pull you away from those things you can control and influence.
Don’t believe me? Find a story from a news outlet on the internet that has the story and a video about the story. Read the article then watch the video. How did you feel after reading the story? How different did you feel after watching the video?
Give up the news for a week. If something big happens that influences you, someone will let you know. I promise.
Giving up the news for a week can show you just how much influence the talking heads on the TV have over you. Don’t let them.
Turn off the news for a week.
Step 9
Review Step 4 “How can I” questions and add notes on how to answer the questions.
Look at all those questions of things you want to do, have, or not to do. Ask those questions to yourself and write down anything that comes to mind.
If more questions come, write them down.
Make this list big! It’s okay to want a lot of things. Make the list of answers big also. Even the crazy, far-out-there ideas might give you something that you can use.
Work on it for 15 or 20 minutes. You’ll be surprised how many ideas come to mind and what new questions you ask yourself.
Review your “how can I” questions from Step 4.
Step 10
Take an action on any one of your “how can I” questions from Step 9.
Find the one that you can do today, or even right now. Go through your questions and answers. Add to them if you have more ideas. Find the one idea or action that you are excited about and can execute today or right now.
If none of them are really exciting, just find one thing you can do right now.
If you are like me, I want to be more physically fit. What can I do about that right now and what is on my list? On my list are: do the Slow Carb Diet, drink more water, do a hard workout every day. If I was unmotived to do anything else, I could simply go fill up a cup of water and drink it. Or I could do a workout, plan a hard workout and set a time for later, or do meal prep and planning so that I eat what I should on the diet.
You can have anything you want in life, you just can’t have everything you want in life. Pick one thing and go get it. Then you can go after another. Don’t be an ADD squirrel on crack. Do one thing right now… then do the next thing.
Take at least one action on one of your “how can I” questions right now.
Step 11
Accept the fact that you deserve exactly what you want in life, you just haven’t done the work yet.
Most of us, and I use to be one, drive to work every day and see someone out running or having a good time and secretly want to be them and resent them at the same time.
A lot of people hate rich people but they want to be rich.
If you resent other people for having the things you want you have put a mental block in your brain that says those people are bad and you don’t want to be a bad person. You will sabotage yourself or, if you are like I use to be, you simply don’t do the work for years thinking there is no way to get that. And if I could, it’s not worth it. So, I sat around and watched TV.
You have to have a meeting with yourself and look into the mirror. You have to get past any bad feelings about the things you want. Despite what anyone anywhere tells you, it is okay, and even good to have the things you want… as long as you do the work to earn it.
What ever it is that you want, you deserve it. Now go do the work to get it.
Step 12
Find people that have what you want and examine what they did to get it.
Find someone that is doing, having, or creating what you want. And then you can take their lessons and do it your own way.
I’m still working on making things my own way. But I’m emulating people that have things I want. A couple of people on my list that inspired this web site and post are Jack Spirko at The Survival Podcast and Andy Frisella at the Real AF Podcast.
Make a list of people that have what you want. Make a list under each one of what they are doing to get that. I was even more specific, what are the things they are doing that I’m not, to have that thing.
Try to think of at least five people. You don’t have to know them personally, and they don’t even need to be alive. But what do they have that you want, and what are they doing that you are not to get that thing.
Don’t have one hero for this. Every person is just a person. If you make that one person your hero, they are going to let you down. They are not perfect. They are just a person. But they are doing something awesome to get what you want. Write it down so you can add that to your how-to questions later.
Find people that have what you want and figure out what they are that you aren’t to get it.
Step 13
Work your list! Today and every day until you get what you want.
Go over parts, if not all of your list daily. And make a note or two. You can do this in the five minutes that it takes your coffee to brew in the morning. Or take a couple of minutes while you enjoy your morning caffeine to look over the list and make a couple of notes.
I started anther note book and just put a couple things down everyday.
Three sections are in my daily notebook. What’s great, What’s not, and How can I _____? I list a couple of things under each heading and go on with the day.
Now that I’ve been doing it for a while. My brain is already answering the how can I question before I can even finish writing it.
This morning I have two How can I notes. First, how can I get a course that I’m almost finished with up for sale. By the time I finished writing it, my brain said SCHEDULE THE TIME!. And it was yelling at me. So I scheduled some time to work on it tomorrow.
My second was how can I do better at my job search? My brain again was yelling at me, do the stuff out of the book 48 Days to the Work You Love! So today I’ll be working on that schedule instead of just reaching out and doing applications.
Once you do this for a couple of days, your brain will be screaming the simple answers to you. Now all you have to do is the work.
Work your lists every day.
Conclusion
That’s it. It is that simple. This does so many things that all the gurus say. Actually, it does everything that every self-help guru I’ve ever listened to says to do… almost.
The only thing that seems to be missing is a formal goals program. But I think it’s there, just in a different way.
I’m working my lists.
How about you? What’s on your list and what are you doing today to get what you want? Put your answer in the comments below.
You can get the 13 Steps to Self Improvement worksheet here.