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Today is just another day… but not. Today is the first day I wanted to quit.
I was bored this morning with the challenge and feel I have so much else to do in life right now that I was thinking of throwing in the towel. But I pushed forward.
Now here I site in front of a computer wanted to quit again…
I think the depression monster isn’t far behind. Which sucks even more then quitting!
So I’m pushing forward. And simply writing what is on my mind right now. I don’t know what else to do at this point besides push forward.
Stress from this virus is everywhere. My kid had a panic attack (I think from it) tonight and could only explain that he was scared. Not of what or who, was embarrassed about it because he knows there is nothing to be afraid of, but can’t calm himself down.
That breaks my heart and makes we want to quit too. Life seems to be conspiring against me today.
I could sit here and just give in. Go grab some ice cream, not post this and never come back. It would be easy, but it would throw away everything. And it isn’t what I want to show my son… so you know what!
Fuck this stupid wanting to quit. Fuck sitting down and doing nothing. Fuck crying into some ice cream. That is for quitters and others. I want to do great things. I want to make a company I’m proud of and that can support my family. I want to be the leader my family needs right now.
So fuck all this quitting. Fuck all this Covid-19 bull shit that is everywhere and fuck anyone or anything that gets in my way. I’m going through this.
This turned into a pep talk for myself. But sometimes I just have to motivate myself. And sometimes that’s using language unsuitable for mixed company. Because sometimes I just have to slap the quit out of myself.
So I’m not quitting.
How about you? Have you given up? Will you give up? Can you slap yourself verbally to get yourself back into the fight?
I am and hopefully I’m here to give you some motivation.
Slap yourself figuratively, verbally, or literally if you have to, but don’t ever give up.
That giving up shit is for losers. I know you aren’t a loser and neither am I.
75 Hard I will Conquer,
Ben Branam